Posts Tagged LOL
1 Jan 2012 – A New Begining
Posted by Sonia Jaspal in Fun-speak on January 1, 2012
I am feeling on top of the world. This blog in its first full year got 51,556 page views. More than doubled from last year (11,299 page views in six months). I have nearly twisted my arm from patting myself on the back for being such an incredibly brilliant writer. With great difficulty I have managed to reign in my egoistic enthusiasm and have decided to be a humble Level 5 leader.
Sincerely, my heartfelt gratitude to all my readers, who came again and again, to read, comment and share my blog posts. For keeping silent when I floundered, and giving me constructive feedback and encouragement to continue learning and growing. I owe it to you all to share the lessons I learnt in blogging this year. Before I declare the top 10 posts of the year, there are two stories I wanted to share with you.
1. The Audience
Writers give one solid piece of advise – “write for your audience”. For new bloggers, this amounts to asking them to be James Bond when they haven’t read a spy novel. Nevertheless, since I decided in blogging world the faint hearted can’t succeed, I devised a strategy. My blogging aim was to share my knowledge and experience with the younger risk managers to make a positive difference in their work. So I wrote on topics that I felt passionate about and felt risk managers approach should change.
Six months down the line in June 2011 I got a shock on reviewing audience statistics. To my utter amazement most of my subscribers are in the age group of 44-64 years.
I had missed my target group entirely. I realized most of my readers are more experienced than me. Phew, that discovery was very nerve wrecking. Gen Y seems to be reading entirely different topics. Since I already have over 300 Gen X and Boomers subscribers, I have changed my strategy and will continue to write topics for them. Lesson learnt was do better market research to match products with your own skill set. By the way, are any of my subscribers single men over 44 years of age?
Resolution for the year: Understand audience tastes better. Reading Only.
2. The Blogging Etiquette
Another advise given is be careful what you write on the blog, in the internet world all is visible. Ha, have you every heard of a risk management blog going viral. With my first few subscribers, I was hardly worried.
Till it suddenly dawned on me, my ex colleagues, bosses and clients were following my blog. None of them informed me, as they quietly used Risky Secretive Subscribers (RSS) feed. Have you ever imagined what you will feel when all your bosses, boy-friends and the not so friendly guys all are in one room. Here, they are not only in one room, they are invisible to each other and me.
Sob, sob, sob. I identified a couple of my posts where I had nicely put my foot in my delicate mouth. Wondered seriously, should I continue to chew the nails of my toes, or take my foot out and put my fingers inside my mouth. Political correctness was never my strong point, but this. Me, the poor little baby.
Resolution for the year : Be politically correct. Seriously.
3. The Good Posts
As is the blogging tradition, I shall list down the top posts for the past year. Surprisingly, some of my 2010 are still going great guns. So, here are the top five from each year. Hope you enjoyed them.
2011
1. Key Performance Indicators for GRC Departments
2. Rs 300 crore CitiBank Fraud
3. Fraud Symptom 5 – Insufficient focus on Organization Culture and Processes
4. Enterprise Risk Management V/s Strategic Risk Management
5. Reflections on Definition of Corporate Governance in India
2010
1. Impact of Organization Culture on Internal Controls
2. Deviant Organization Culture
3. Pre-employment Background Screening Verification Program
4. Risk Management Strategy of Virgin Group
5. Mother Teresa – An Inspiration for Social Responsibility
Resolution for the year: Write only good quality posts.
Wishing You A Very Happy New Year
Finally, once again a big thank you to all my readers. This song is my tribute to all of you. May our relationship grow and prosper in this year. And you enjoy the journey as much as I do.
Hope you are successful in achieving all your ethical dreams in 2012.
Best wishes,
Sonia
Auditors and Accountants – Humor
Posted by Sonia Jaspal in Fun-speak on October 7, 2011
The weekend is starting and here are some jokes that I found on auditors and accountants. Hope you enjoy them.
1. What did the auditor say at the vampire stock take? Count Dracula
2. Did you hear about the cannibal Audit practice? They charge an arm and a leg.
3. What do cannibal auditors do after their Office Christmas Dinner ? Toast their clients
4. If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say? “Darling, could you tell me about your work”
5. A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6 2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?” The first guy says, “No, I don’t want to have to explain it two times.
6. A patient was at her doctor’s office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, “I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live.” The patient asked, “Oh doctor, what should I do?” The doctor replied, “Marry an accountant.” “Will that make me live longer?” asked the patient. “No,” said the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”
7. A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work. After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message: “Debits in the column towards the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window.”
Have a great weekend and hope it refreshes you for Monday’s work and meetings.
References:
1. The Alternative Accountant.
2. Funny Jokes
If I Were An Auditor
Posted by Sonia Jaspal in Fun-speak on December 5, 2010
I am dedicating the song “If I were an auditor” to all the auditors who are working overtime and weekends to finalize financial statements for the year ending 31 December 2010. Audit life is tough, involves a whole lot of hard work and sacrifices, including from family and friends. Just remember your better halves and thank them for their continuous support and love. There is another life waiting for you after the year-end.
Have fun and a nice weekend.
Sonia
Politicians- Are They Better or Worse With Time
Posted by Sonia Jaspal in Fun-speak on October 14, 2010
The American population is angry with their politicians for supporting the financial institutions in the foreclosure issue. Politicians are playing with the fundamental American principles of pursuing legal and ethical practices for achieving business profits.
In India, in the state of Karnataka, which has Bangalore as capital of the state, the state government is enacting another drama. In the last few weeks public has heard discussions of President’s Rule to another Confidence Vote in the state assembly. Results will show whether the combined determination of all politicians will bring the state down.
Reading this kind of news, one starts wondering whether all common folks across countries have chosen inappropriate politicians. Or is it that the politicians were better a few decades back, and have deteriorated now?
I can feel the frustration of public across the world, so here is some research from history. You decide for yourself whether politicians have improved with time, or they will always stay the same.
1. A respected Prime Minister
Winston Churchill had been drinking heavily at a party when he bumped into Bessie Braddock, a Socialist Member of Parliament.
“Mr. Churchill, you are drunk,” Braddock said harshly.
Churchill paused and said, “And Bessie, you are ugly. You are very ugly. I’ll be sober in the morning.”
2. A Political Reformer
John Wilkes, an eighteenth-century political reformer, was involved in a particularly angry exchange with John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich. “Sir,” Montagu exclaimed, “I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox!”
To which Wilkes responded, “That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship’s principles or your Lordship’s mistresses.”
3. A Senator
During a television debate against incumbent U.S. Senator Fritz Hollings in 1986, Republican candidate Henry McMaster challenged his opponent to take a drug test.
“I’ll take a drug test,” Hollings responded, “if you’ll take an IQ test.”
4. A respected President
A foreign diplomat walked into Abraham Lincoln’s office while the president was polishing his shoes.
“Mr. President!” the startled diplomat said with disdain, “you black your own boots?”
“Yes,” Lincoln said, “whose boots do you black?”
5. A President with questionable reputation
Just after the 1992 Republication National Convention, Vice President Dan Quayle revealed that he planned to be “a pit bull” in the upcoming campaign against the Democratic presidential candidate Bill Clinton and his running mate Al Gore.
When Clinton was asked for his reaction, he replied: “That’s got every fire hydrant in America worried.”
These are my top five; do they restore your confidence in the politicians of the world? I invite you to add yours in the comments section and join the fun :)
We All Have A Bad Boss
Posted by Sonia Jaspal in Fun-speak, Management on September 12, 2010
I was going through the various groups of Linkedin and seeing the updates of my connections. The one thing which hit me hard was the number of topics about bad bosses and how to manage them. Every person had some experience on how CXO’s/ bosses behave negatively and how to deal with the situation.
I did not see any comment from a CXO saying- “I am a bad CXO and this is my suggestion on how not to do the same mistake”. I didn’t see any message from a regular boss (senior/middle) saying that “Hey, these are the mistakes which I made while being a boss”. Or any person saying “Hey, my boss is nice but I am a bad subordinate”.
With my tongue firmly in cheek, I kind of wondered. Except for fresh employees all of us are someone’s boss and have some subordinates. So how come we have a bad boss and are such good subordinates. And the surprising thing is our juniors are saying the same “My boss is bad, I am a good subordinate”.
I think most of us haven’t reached the CXO level nor are likely to reach. Hence the HR industry is focusing on the rest by showing empathy and sympathy for dealing with the bad boss. This is a good branding exercise by the HR industry to rope in new customers for coaching and mentoring. Nobody likes someone else having authority over them, as kids we didn’t like our parents telling us what to do, and as adults we don’t like our bosses telling us what to do. It is a universal emotional thought process which HR industry is exploiting by giving us a shoulder to cry on.
I am not going to give you 10 steps of how to manage a bad boss. I would recommend reading Scott Adam’s book – Dilbert The Joy Of Work -Guide to finding Happiness at the Expense of your Co-workers. It is one of the books which give profound meaning to working as a subordinate.
Watch the clip to understand the true meaning of a hardworking employee who has a really bad boss. My heart goes out to him.


