A surrogate mother and delivery of a child costs approximately US$12,000 (Rs 720,000) in India. A mid-level female professional’s annual salary is more than twice this amount. Add to it the salary loss a female has post-delivery is she takes a break. Then consider the opportunity loss she suffers for the year she is pregnant and post-delivery, and the long-term impact on her career. The idea of surrogacy appears cost-effective.
If profit and loss analysis is done, surrogacy is the best option for working women. However, not all decisions can be based on money alone. So let us talk about the ethical, emotional, and social dilemmas of surrogacy. Maybe then surrogacy doesn’t sound like that great an option.
1) Surrogate Mother’s Perspective
In India poor women who have one to two children opt for becoming surrogate mothers. They earn Rs 500,000 to Rs 600,000, which is equivalent to 8-10 years of their salary. The reason they consider this venture is that they can provide for their own children. For them it is good money since they do not have any other viable and legal means to earn a similar amount. It is a way out of extreme poverty.
However, in most of the clinics, surrogate mothers stay at a special accommodation and are provided food, lodging and medical facilities. They are allowed to meet their own family but not stay with them to reduce risks. Hence, the children of the surrogate mother suffer separation and lack of motherly care for 9 months of delivery time. They are forced to make that sacrifice, as their parents are concerned about their future. Is it right for the society and parents to ask children to make this sacrifice for their future?
The next issue is that the surrogate mother goes through a cesarean operation to deliver. She is taking all the delivery risks and health risks to deliver a child of an unknown couple. She carries the child within her womb for nine months and then hands it over to strangers. Doesn’t this amount to exploitation due to poverty?
2) Child’s Perspective
According to medical studies, a child recognizes the voice of the mother from the womb. It also develops physically according to the food provided and psychological stress of the mother. A study showed that the children born to mothers pregnant during the Dutch famine in 1944 ( known as Hunger Winter) developed health problems later in life because they survived on scarcity in the womb. Their bodies developed physically to survive on scarcity. Later on in life when there was abundant food supply their bodies couldn’t adjust.
Considering this, the child will develop physically and psychologically according to the stress and health levels of the surrogate mother. It will get attached and look for security in the voice of the surrogate mother. It will want milk from the surrogate mother.
As a society we are concerned when mothers abandon their children. However, in surrogacy, a child faces physical and psychological separation from the surrogate mother on the day it is born. A study shows that children born through surrogacy face higher level of depression and suffer from emotional issues. Hence, the question is – will they face lifetime abandonment issues due to surrogate birth.
3) Adoptive /Genetic Mother’s Perspective
A professional women’s biggest dilemma is to have a child or not. If she does, she has to sacrifice her career, if she doesn’t she has to sacrifice her basic need of feminine fulfillment. While a man is not questioned about his professional competence after becoming a father, a woman has to face doubtful superiors till her child becomes an adult.
The modern day medical science has provided her with an option to go for surrogacy. Nevertheless, will these nine months really have a long-term impact on her profession when she will be questioned every time she asks for leave because her child is sick.
Is it ethical for organizations and society to expect a woman to make a choice between professional success and personal happiness? When professional women talk about guilt of leaving the child home, won’t she feel guiltier on not having her child biologically?
Moreover, will she be able to form a strong relationship with her child born from surrogacy? Will the relationship be that of a mother and adopted child? What will be the long-term psychological and emotional impact on the mother when a child withdraws from her or she feels guilty because she didn’t physically bear the child.
The situation is different if the mother suffers from health issues and there is risk to her child or herself. Then she is fulfilling a dream through someone because she herself is incapable. However, when she is physically fit, the issue takes different proportions.
4) Biological Father’s Perspective
A man’s biggest psychological insecurity is that he doesn’t know whether the woman is carrying his child or has he been fooled. Before DNA tests, men compensated this insecurity by falling in love, getting married and demanding fidelity from the mother of their child. The social norms were geared to ensure that a man doesn’t bring up a child, which is not his.
To this day, men are willing to sacrifice much for the mother of their children. Even when they don’t get along, they bestow respect and care to the woman for bearing their child.
Now contrast this with the option that they are bearing a child from a woman whom they don’t know and is not their wife. How is the man supposed to psychologically shift gears, care for his wife while ignoring the surrogate mother? He has to change generations of social thinking built into his psychologically.
Moreover, is his wife is healthy enough to bear children, then he has to struggle with the fact that she doesn’t want to physically trouble herself by having his child. She is not willing to make any sacrifices for him or his children. In such a situation, will the man feel loved by his wife, and will he be able to continue to love his wife? What will be the long-term impact on the marriage if a woman chooses to use a surrogate mother without the willingness and consent of the father? Moreover, will the man be able to have the same relationship with the child or will he feel like an adoptive father?
5) Social Perspective
Presently, the number of children born through surrogacy is low. However, with the strides in surrogacy, cloning, and medical science, it is possible that in the next couple of decades surrogacy becomes more prevalent.
Then a couple of social behavior and culture issues need to be thought about. If the number of surrogate children increase will social conflict and disturbances occur on lines similar to ethnicity, race and color. Will the surrogate children feel discriminated against and should there be special guidelines formed to deal with the issue?
Will the society suffer from lessor level of social bonding? What will be the effects on altruistic nature of humans because childbirth is considered altruistic – a mother sacrifices and risks her life for it. Will the generation become more detached from their parents and face issues of isolation, abandonment, and depression. Will it suffer identity crises?
To some questions there is no easy answer. Humans may be able to justify surrogacy when the mother suffers health issues. However, it is difficult to justify surrogacy from a monetary perspective when the moral, emotional, and psychological cost is so high for all parties concerned. It is not a onetime cost, it is a lifelong cost that each family member has to pay. So do you think surrogacy is an option for working women? Share your views here.